How I Beat The Unitarians | what gordon knows

Located 10 miles off the coast of New Hampshire the Isle of The Shoals is a place I’ve wanted to visit for years.. It is famous for its beauty, history and colorful myths about pirates. The Star Island Corporation operates a hotel and conference center on one of the island and until recently did not allow regular people to spend the night on the island. Now you can book a “personal retreat,” and spend a night in the 100+ year old Oceanic Hotel.

I have a very stressful job that I keep quitting but can’t seem to get away from and this summer had been particularly crappy. I was convinced that if I didn’t go to Isles of Shoals I’d never go and this summer would go down as being the worst of my life. The only problem was that I was dumb enough to attempt it on labor day weekend.

The hotel was full, the boat was mostly full and it was difficult to make everything come together. I was upset that I wouldn’t be able to spend a night on the island but happy that I could at least spend an hour or two.

The boat. I chose this tour operator because they had the biggest boat. The other smaller boats looked like vomitoriums.

So now I’m waiting to get on the boat and I’m surrounded by large, cotton clothed middle class americans. They are pushing and shoving, trying to get the best seat they possibly can. However, none of them can tell the difference between the front and the back of the boat, so they end up hustling each other into the wrong end of the boat.

I decided I would do the smart thing and sit in the front of the boat away from horrible people and little children. However, the little children found me and during the roughest part of the passage decided to vomit all over the deck. Yes!

So here we are.

There was a lot of pushing and shoving while a boat load of robust people wearing cheap perfume rushed to get off the boat. I ran into the main building to use the bathroom and they all decided to play a game of sardines in the gift shop. The hotel has a really cool old school feel to it and probably isn’t for everyone. With only 1.5 hours on the island I had no intention of staying inside.