According to MarthaStewart.com Martha Stewart Everyday® helps make every task around the home easier and more enjoyable, from cooking a meal, to painting and decorating a room, to doing laundry. Our thousands of beautiful, useful products for the home and garden combine classic design (in colors and styles that are easy to coordinate), functionality, and surprisingly affordable prices.

I was excited about my Martha Stewart Everday ™ television stand from Kmart, until I discovered that it was broken in the box. Yup. My beautiful, functional, affordable furniture you can put together easily. With simple, traditional lines and attractive finishes, the pieces work together perfectly to create comfortable, harmonious rooms just right for everyday living. furniture was broken before I could get a chance to scratch it or assemble it improperly.

I really love antiquated digital technology. Way back when, I acquired an old polaroid printer that prints images from digital files using polaroid film. You can connect your digital camera to it and in a few seconds produce a digital polaroid print. The only camera that I have that will work with the printer is an ancient AGFAphoto CL30 that I love because it is horrible. When used in combination with the polaroid printer the end result is a product of the best/worst of each medium. The polaroid looks like a polaroid but with a nice 1980s digital print feel to it.

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A Guide To Self Boudoir/Glamour Photography

I decided to put together a guide to taking hot pictures of yourself. This guide isn’t the only way to do it, but this is my preferred method. This isn’t for everyone, I’m not interested in showing you what your photographs should look like and then having you copy them. I want to enable you to make your own sexy intimate glamour photography that is unique and truly your own.

Equipment

The basic things you need.

Digital Camera

If your goal is to simply post your images online than you don’t really need to worry about the quality. I would recommend at least 3 megapixels or higher. A dSLR would be nice but it is really hard to get good results when you are alone. A camera with a remote control makes things a lot easier. You could do this with a film camera but film developing is expensive and you might have a hard time getting someone to process your film if you have posed naked.

Tripod

Any old tripod will do, and really you don’t even need one, any stable surface can work. I tend to put my camera on rocks or other random things.

Light

Photography is about light and this is one of the easiest ways to make your images wonderful. Most people’s living environment does not allow them to use natural light when posing nude so you will probably need to find another light source. I use a slide projector as my light source, but any bright light will do.

The Setup

You want to be in a very simple room because after all these pictures are about you and not about your furniture. The room should be a nice temperature and you should set everything up so you feel very comfortable.

Lets Begin

For your intimate glamor photography, make sure the room you are in is warm and that you are comfortable. You won’t look sexy if you are cold, cramped or kranky. You will need to set up your light source. You will look best if you soften the light by bouncing it off something white before it hits you. Light from a north window is naturally soft. This is used a lot in movies and television because soft light is very sensual and very appealing.

This diagram should help.

Posing

You Are Sexy
Put yourself at a slight angle to the camera and angle your face downwards if you can. This is good for both intimate glamour photography or boudoir photography.

For very Intimate Photography keep going.

Now take off your clothes. Slowly. I would suggest photographing yourself as you undress, this can be very intimate and far hotter than if you just show us your goods. You should tease the camera, play with your eyes. The idea is that you are sexy, and you know it and the camera should see it too. I sometimes do a mantra “i am sexy you want want me, I am sexy you need me, i am sexy you can’t have me.” This is far more important than stupid props or sexy underwear. When you pose it is about attitude and energy, if you want to look hot you must remember that you are hot.

I love the original TaB diet drink because of how horrible it tastes. It is like diet coke but with a splash of metal. yum. There is also the powerful 80s retro appeal of TaB, just drinking it makes you feel like you know Gary Coleman and work at a Savings and Loan. Is your sister wearing jellies? Does Rob Lowe know your name? Is there white powder under your nose? If you drink TaB, the answer is yes to all of these questions.

So now there is Tab energy(tm) an energy drink that has youthful 80s loving fat women (and probably a few gay men) in mind. TaB energy does live up to its TaB predecessor’s reputation for being undrinkable, but this time in a very unpleasing way. There is nothing retro or delightfully metalic about this Tab, just vomit inducing kool aid flavor. Yum.

Look how delightfully pink TaB energy is and healthy too. The one good thing I can say about TaB energy is that it does live up to its name. I have only had two of them today and when I stop shaking I will probably have a third.

1. white guilt
2. you live in Vermont and need to drive to NH to buy groceries.
3. you like the shape of the prius
4. super sneaky hit and runs
5. you care (insert forced hug here)
6. your neighbors have one
7. your Bush-Cheney sticker looks good on it (as often seen in Hanover, NH)

It is now 2006 and I haven’t heard anything new about the Agfa Photo bankruptcy. I read a press release that said that Photo-Me had acquired some assets for around US $6 million. Photo-Me then went on to sign new photofinishing deals with various retails. I can only hope that will mean the continuation of Agfa Photo’s products to some degree.

There are many fake pictures of Jessica Simpson topless but this is the best “topless” picture yet.