All Of My Dead Neighbors

I grew up in a small town full of rich old ladies with big cars and even bigger hair. Recently, they have been dropping like flies, about one a month. In stark contrast to recent events, Charlotte had nothing to do with these deaths.

• The Astor: She was my favorite neighbor and lived to be 93. I took her to her first fast food restaurant, she asked for a menu.
• The Nazi: Her obituary mentioned her “time in Germany,” which was a nice way of putting it.
• The Firetruck : She was tall and build like a Buick. She was famous for having her property check for dimensional gates.

Status Unknown

• The Frog Whisperer: She famously had a friend politely ask if I was teaching the frogs in front of her house to talk.
• The Walker: I would only see her walking and nobody knew who she was.

Long Dead

• The Sharp Shooter: She lived alone in a huge house up until her 90s. When she was young, she helped bringing skiing to America and worked for Saks as a fashion consultant. I used to cut across the field from her house until she told me of her plan to eradicate vermin with her shotgun.

This entry was posted on Saturday, December 1st, 2007 at 7:58 pm and is filed under Photography. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.